Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Writing Wednesday: When Your Family Reads Your Books

I know I'm not the only one who relies on friends and family for support in my writing career. I'm not saying they're the only ones buying my books, but it always feels good to have family show up to support an event or a book release.


< ~~~ My sister-in-laws at a recent bookstore signing (and they smuggled in margaritas from the sidewalk cafe next door-yum!)



My kids, nieces and nephews at a book release event at a Chatham book store ~~~~~~~~~ >








But actually reading and reviewing my books?

Sometimes I'm not sure if they've read them... and sometimes maybe I'd rather not know. My mother-in-law recently *borrowed* a copy of my latest anthology release to read my story in the collection.
I'd ordered a paperback version for myself - it's seriously the size of an old-fashioned dictionary, not "light" beach reading, lol.


< ~~~~~~~~~~ "Your book is over there on the desk, underneath some things to hide that racy cover. The kids shouldn't see that."

"Did you read my story already?"

"Well, yes."

"What did you think?"

"It's very explicit, isn't it. Well written, and I liked learning about the inner workings of the restaurant business and the detective character. But the details were... well, too graphic. Too racy for me."

I don't usually have those problems with my YA books. (duh.) But I also haven't been successful getting my own children to actually read the finished versions, as they read so many drafts and beta-edits along the way. They feel like they *know* the story - why bother reading it now?

My youngest finally agreed (reluctantly) to read the books at work this summer, between boat trips. He just finished DESCENT yesterday, and grudgingly admitted to liking it. Enough so that he packed the second book in his bag when he didn't think there was enough of the first one left to make it through the day. It's cool to hear his take on the characters I've been living with for years like a second family. The ones he likes and doesn't like, what television characters they remind him of. The fact that I write teen dialogue like a grownup trying to write teen dialogue. ("Don't worry though, it's a common problem in fiction." Umm, thanks?)

What do other authors do? Do your kids and spouses and extended family beta read for you? Do they read the finished versions and tell you know what they think? Or do you write under a pen name and never let them see the finished product? How high is your anxiety level when you know a family member is reading something you wrote?

Happy Writing ~ and Reading!


23 comments:

  1. I write romance (with sex scenes), so my kids don't read it--they're teenagers and they don't want to anyway (they're more concerned with the dedication page). My husband read my first book ever published, and while he liked it because I wrote it, he doesn't like romance, so he doesn't read anymore, unless I need to run a scene by him. My mother-in-law is my greatest marketer--she literally walks up to strangers with my book and asks them why they haven't read it yet. :) My mom reads all my books and as long as she doesn't want to discuss them with me, I'm good. It's embarrassing. My dad insisted on reading my first book. I tried to get him not to. Then I tried to get him to skip certain pages. When he finally finished, he told me he wasn't going to read them again. It's totally embarrassing, but also kind of funny.

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    1. LOL, at least you got your husband to read the first one. My husband is definitely not a reader so he's never read anything I've written. And your dad... too cute. Thakns for sharing!

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  2. Er...yes. This is a conundrum. Very awkward. Like Jennifer, my husband read my first published book and loved it. He now blithely markets my books to all his friends/acquaintances without having read them, and they've become rather more explicit than that first one. I'll bet he'd be shocked if he actually sat down and read one. It took me a while to get comfortable with the fact that friends--some of the male persuasion--were reading love scenes I'd penned, some of which they describe as "the hottest sex scenes you can imagine!" but I'm okay with it now. It's the writer "me" who writes those things...not sweet little ol' every-day me. LOL. My adult daughter, who has read a number of my books, told me she skips the steamy parts--just too embarrassing.

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    1. "Skips the steamy parts" - because mom wrote them. Yeah, I hear that from some people I know who say they can't read the scenes without thinking about me writing them. Ewww... my dental hygenist told me that (while I was lying there having my teeth cleaned...) A little weird...

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  3. My mum is my one and only beta reader that counts. She is totally loyal, and most importantly, totally honest. And she's cool about my sex scenes...which are explicit!! My dad hums and haws, and keeps promising to read my book but hasn't. I get it. I think I will always be his virginal little girl, even though I'm very much all grown up. What's even funnier, is he keeps asking me when I'm going to write a real book!?! I can't seem to make him understand that romance is by far, the largest genre out there and I that do write 'real' books. LOL! Dads!

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    1. I also hear that "real book" comment a lot from certain quarters. I've learned to smile and nod.

      And, yeah. Dads.

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    2. The "real book" comment is infuriating. Argh. I'd love for some of these people who say that to sit down and try to write one...Happy about your mom's support!

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    3. The "real book" comment is infuriating. Argh. I'd love for some of these people who say that to sit down and try to write one...Happy about your mom's support!

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  4. Yes, having family read my books is awkward at times. My husband reads each book (I watch all his sports shows with him, so he owes me), but romance isn't his thing either. My son has read all my books, but not my daughter. She's not a reader and her life is very busy raising twins.

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    1. Wow, he's read all your books? That's awesome. Totally jealous :-)

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  5. My husband and family do read all my books. The first time, I was wracked with anxiety, but they all liked them, so I'm less nervous now when they read. My mom is in her 80s, and I warned her before the first one that it's a little more graphic than the Harlequins she used to read back in the 1970s, and she said that "you have to give the public what they want, and sex sells." Lol. To be fair, my dad passed away before I started writing, and I don't have kids. Oh! But I did work in a boys school, and evidently the headmaster read my blurb for Angels Fly (first kiss scene) without any introduction in a faculty meeting. I hadn't told many people at work that I was writing, so they all thought he'd lost his mind, and were wondering "where is he going with this?" Fun topic today, Katie!

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    1. Thanks for sharing, Donna! We had an 80+ year old very proper seeming woman from England visit our book shanty when we were set up by the harbor for the weekend. She was all about reading "the lovelies" - too old to do anything about it anymore, she said, but not too old to remember. Too cute! (She also took a poster of my shirtless hunk along witht eh book she bought. A souvenier of Cape Cod...)

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  6. No one reads my books. It kind of bothers me because In the back of my mind it sort of feels like they don't care. If I'd painted a picture they'd all take the time to admire and add encouraging comments. My husband tunes out everything related to my writing. One time he did find a spiral notebook on the coffee table with some original rough draft notes for a new book. He said, "Your writing is terrible, no wonder you can't make any money." Explaining the concept of a rough draft was totally tuned out. Sorry for the downer. After ten years I've kind of gotten used to it. Just bugs me more some days.

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    1. Hmmm, sounds like your husband needs a slap upside the head for a comment like that! I hope you have a supportive writing group to whine and wine with! If not, I'm raising a virtual glass with you now. Writing is a tough business, and you've been in it for ten years and are a published author. You deserve kudos, lady.

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  7. When I let a few friends and family members read a late draft of Book 1, there were two teen-aged girls and one super-prim adult who were feeling left out, so I created a G-rated version for them. I didn't spend a lot of time or effort on it: I left in the sexual yearning and the lead-up to sex, but when things were about to get hot I faded to the sky. They knew they were getting an amended version and they knew why, so I didn't try too hard to "cover my tracks." Anyway, they got to enjoy the story and join in the discussions, so it was a great success. I'll probably do that again with Book 2.
    Judy Gabriel writing as Judy Meadows

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  8. Great idea! Even Bella Andre has a sweeter alter-ego, right?

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  9. Great post. I love that your son is into your books. More friends read than family members. Recently, I went on vacation with my in-laws and they'd all read my debut. Even the Uncle. Let's just say it was uncomfortable. My mother-in-law also felt uncomfortable because my hero was obviously not her son! :) Claire Marti

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    1. LOL! I had an uncomfortable moment like that, but it was more because a neighbor insinuated that the "bad husband" in Ghosts Don't Lie was really MY husband, because he pictured me as the psychic heroine. He was worried I was being abused... I'm not, lol. It's fiction.

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  10. Katie, in a word, "no!" Nobody in my family reads my books, mostly boys in my family, though, but my DIL keeps hitting me up for books but she never reads them. It bugs me, but hey, you can't force people.

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    1. No, you can't force people to read. You can beg and cajole and bribe... kinda like with asking for reviews...

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  11. Great post. I've published two books now and I'm really surprised who has read my books and who hasn't. The big surprise is the number of men in my family who have read my books. I didn't expect that as that's not my target audience. My husband has not read my books but he has listened to every chapter I've read to him and provided honest feedback. My 3 kids have not read my books. None of them are big readers.

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    1. My niece is staying with us for the summer and she and my son are both reading the second book in my YA series now to give me input as I finish up the 3rd book. They are my target audience so it's gratifying in so many ways.

      It's so nice your husband listens to you read and gives feedback - that's such an awesome gift.

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  12. Enjoyed the post. I always figured friends and family would be so eager to read, and a few, small few are. It's disappointing, but the ones who don't, aren't big readers anyway. Several have their own individual interests and I must admit, if asked to go along, I'd probably kindly refuse. I imagine this isn't so different. A few have said they're waiting on the movies...LOL, me too.

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